Friday, 31 December 2010

WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES 12

THE END IS NEAR, MY LAST POST OF THIS YEAR! WHERE ARE YOU LOT HEADING TONIGHT, WHAT ARE YOU LOT WEARING?! HAVE YOU LISTED YOUR RESOLUTIONS AND LOOKED BACK AT ALL YOUR PEAKS AND PITS OF THE LAST 12 MONTHS? MINUS THAT SERIOUS STUFF, I'M GOING TO THE WORK IT RAVE AND I'M WEARING A FUR SKIRT. YES, STROKE IT. LET'S FACE IT THOUGH NOTHING TOPS A PERFECT NEW YEAR'S THAN WITH A SPECIAL SMOOCH AT THE STROKE OF MIDNIGHT. SO WHILE YOU PLAN ON WHO'S TONGUE MIGHT BE IN YOUR MOUTH LATER I JUST WANTED TO SHARE ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SCENES OF SEX AND THE CITY'S FIRST MOVIE AND THE NYE MOMENT BETWEEN SPARKLY ROBED SAMANTHA AND SMITH, WHO CHOSE TO STAY IN ALL ROMANTIC AND LOW-KEY. IF YOU'RE DOING THAT DITCH THE ROBES AND IF NOT BOTTOMS UP BOTTOMS UP AND A HAPPY NEW NEW TO YOU!

Wednesday, 29 December 2010

PON DE PANTHER

WHILE THE REST OF US ARE FREEZING OUR BUMS OFF, RIH RIH IS SPENDING HER CHRISTMAS BREAK IN SUNNY BARBADOS PROWLING AROUND ON THE BEACH IN A PANTHER SWIMSUIT. THE ONE PIECE SCOOP BACK IS FROM THE AUSTRALIAN BASED BRAND 'WE ARE HANDSOME' WHO TAKE THEIR INSPIRATION FROM NATURE AND ANIMALS - A MATCH FOR RIHANNA'S WILD STYLES. 

FATTY GIRL

NATALIE PERKINS IS A BEAUTIFULLY EXPRESSIVE AUSTRALIAN ARTIST AND DESIGNER. YOU CAN PEEP SOME OF HER THOUGHT PROVOKING ILLUSTRATIONS ON DANGEROUSLY LUXE WHERE SHE CLEVERLY AND QUITE RIGHTLY SO, REDRAWS RUNWAY LOOKS ON NON-TYPICAL BODIES. SHE BELIEVES THE FASHION INDUSTRY IGNORES THE CURVIER GIRLS AND SO A LOT OF HER ART IS CENTERED AROUND CELEBRATING THE PLUS SIZE FEMALE BOD. SHE'S ON A WEIGHTY MISSION AND IT AIN'T OVER TILL THE FAT LADY DRAWS.

Tuesday, 28 December 2010

IN THE NUDE

SOOO, WHAT DID SANTA GET YOU FOLKS?! AMONGST MY GORGE GIFTS WERE: SATC MOVIE 2, SOPHIE KINSELLA'S MINI SHOPAHOLIC BOOK, DRAKE THANK ME LATER ALBUM, STRAWBERRY CABLE SWEETIES, LEOPARD PRINT WOOLLY JUMPER AND A CREAMY SHADE OF TOPSHOP 'DESERT' LIPSTICK WHICH I'VE BEEN WEARING ALL WEEKEND (BIG SHOUTS TO MY SISTER ON TICKING OFF MY XMAS LIST) TICK TICK TICK. NUDE LIPSTICK IS AN ULTRA FLATTERING SEXY SHADE, IT WORKS BEST AGAINST A SMOKEY EYE AND ADDS THAT EXTRA BIT OF POLISH TO YOUR LOOK WITHOUT BEING OVERDONE.  I'M A FAN AND I WIDE GRINNED BESIDE MY NAN ON XMAS DAY IN MY NEW LIPPY TO PROVE IT. TRY BETWEEN (L TO R) TOPSHOP DESERT/RIMMEL NUDE DELIGHT/MAC CREME D'NUDE /BARRY M MARSHMALLOW TO FIND YOUR FLESHTONE.

Saturday, 25 December 2010

HOPE YOUR CHRISTMAS AIN'T PANTS

HAPPY CHRISTMAS READERS, MUCH LOVE TO YOU EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU AND I HOPE WHATEVER GIFT YOU GET FROM SANTA'S 'SACK' IS A BIG PLEASANT PACKAGE...

Friday, 24 December 2010

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMS

A TRUE SAINT IN MY EYES.

Thursday, 23 December 2010

DID YOU GET MY CARD YET?

MY CHRISTMAS CARDS THIS YEAR COME STRAIGHT AT YOU FROM FASHION ILLUSTRATOR MARGOT BOWMAN AND BLOGGER BIP LING WHO KNOCKED HEADS TO DESIGN THEM AND WHAT A SPLENDID JOB THEY DID. EVER SO JAZZY AND DIFFERENT TO ANY OTHER TYPICAL DESIGNS AND YOU KNOW I LIKE ME A BIT OF DIFFERENT JAZZINESS - SO MUCH SO THAT I EVEN WROTE MY OWN CHRISTMAS POEM INSIDE (FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT WEREN'T FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO RECEIVE MY CARD AND EXPERIENCE THE JOY OF MY POEM, BETTER LUCK NEXT YEAR) AND IT WENT A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS:

"I’VE WRITTEN A FESTIVE POEM WITH SEASONAL SPIRIT THIS YEAR,
I HOPE IT’S AS GOOD AS THAT SONG ‘RUDOLF THE RED NOSED REINDEER’,
HAVE A FASHIONABLE AND CHARMING, GIFT GIVING DAY,
AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE YOUR PRESENTS –
ACCEPT WITH A SMILE THEN THROW THEM AWAY.
EAT, DRINK AND BE MERRY AND WATCH SOME BAD TV,
WHY NOT EVEN DANCE AROUND, A FANCY LIT UP TREE?
I’M WISHING YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES THE HAPPIEST CHRISTMAS DAY,
WITH BEST WISHES FOR THE NEW YEAR TOO, AS IT’S NOT SO FARAWAY..."

Tuesday, 21 December 2010

TIS THE SEASON OF SANTA

KELIS WAS SNAPPED LEAVING A BURLESQUE SHOW IN LA LAST WEEK WEARING A LUSH RED VELVET BLAZER, CO-ORDINATING LIPS AND BLACK WEDGED BUCKLED BOOTIES. THE OUTFIT WAS KINDA DISPARATE BUT BEING KELIS SHE STILL MADE IT FLOW. DUNNO KNOW IF IT'S THE TIME OF THE YEAR BUT THIS OUTFIT REMINDED ME OF SANTA'S LITTLE HELPER, I SAY THAT AND NOT MRS. CLAUS FOR OBVIOUS REASONS.

FLUFF YOUR FEATHERS

SAW THESE BABIES IN THE METRO THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT OOH HOW VERY WINTER WONDERLAND-ISH. THEY WOULDN'T BE MUCH USE IN THE SNOW BUT BLA IT'S FASHION OVER PRACTICALITY IN THIS CASE. PRICED AT £390 (OK DEFINITELY DON'T WEAR THEM IN THE SNOW), THESE KURT GEIGER 'SCENE FEATHER' PLATFORM BOOTS, ALSO AVAILABLE IN BLACK, HAVE A STATEMENT FEATHER TRIM AND ARE THE ULTIMATE SHOW SHOE FOR THE SEASON. DROP DOWN AND GET YOUR EAGLE ON GIRL.

Saturday, 18 December 2010

YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR HAT ON

IT'S OBVIOUS TO SEE THE SUN HASN'T GOT HIS HAT ON ANYMORE, INSTEAD WE NOW NEED A HAT - PREFERABLY A FUR TRAPPER HAT AS MODELLED BY MY BESTIE OR EVEN A FAUX FUR HEADBAND AS MODELLED BY ME. IT'S SNOWING OUT, IT'S CHRISTMAS, IT'S COLD...ACTUAL CURRENT SEASONAL CONDITIONS FOR WEARING A HAT (UNLIKE DAPPY FROM N-DUBZ WHO CHOOSES TO WEAR HIS WOOLLY ALL YEAR ROUND). ALONGSIDE THIS SNOWFALL, THERE'S A BIT OF A FURRY DOMINATION ON THE STREETS OF LONDON AND WE'RE ALL LOOKING VERY URBAN/SKI/SPORTSWEAR CHIC. JOIN THE FUR HAT PARADE IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY.

Thursday, 16 December 2010

ME, MYSELF AND I AND A PIE

I HAD A DELIGHTFUL DAY OFF (ONLY COZ I'VE GOT TO WORK SATURDAY WHICH ISN'T SO DELIGHTFUL) AND DECIDED TO FACE ADVERSE WEATHER CONDITIONS AND VISIT THE DRAWING FASHION EXHIBITION AT THE DESIGN MUSEUM IN LONDON BRIDGE. £8.50 WAS THE ADMISSION WHICH WAS A TAD PRICEY IN MY OPINION BUT I SAW SOME STUNNING FASHION ILLUSTRATIONS NONETHELESS. PHOTOGRAPHY WASN'T ALLOWED BUT WHAT THE HECK IN THE NAME OF FASHIONISHA I SLYLY SNAPPED A HANDFUL OF MY FONDEST ARTIST'S WORK (GOSH THE THINGS I DO FOR YOU GUYS). TOP ROW: 1950 BY RENE GRUAU, MIDDLE ROW: 1965/66/67 BY ANTONIO LOPEZ AND BOTTOM ROW: 2001/2009 BY FRANCOIS BERTHOUD. I ENDED MY DAY WITH ANOTHER HEAVENLY SMELLING LIP SMACKER PURCHASE THIS TIME IN BUBBLE GUM AND INDULGED IN THE NEW FESTIVE MINCE/CUSTARD PIE AT GOOD OLD MCDONALD'S. DO NOT BE AFRAID OF YOUR OWN COMPANY, IT CAN BE A BEAUTIFUL THING.

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

THROUGH THE KEY HOLE

SO PHOTOGRAPHER TODD SELBY WAS GRANTED UNRESTRICTED ACCESS TO SKATEBOARD P'S PAD (JEALOUS) IN MIA RECENTLY (DOUBLE JEALOUS) AND SNAPPED THE LUXURIES AND 'KIDULT' ARTWORK AROUND HIS GAFF. NOW IF I WERE THERE I'M SURE WE COULD FIND WONDERFUL USES FOR THAT CHAIR ON LEGS OH AND THE WELCOMING POOL AND PERHAPS EVEN THE RECLINING SUN LOUNGERS...CAN I HAVE IT LIKE THAT?

BLINGIN' BIRTHDAY BARBIE

NICKI WENT ALL OUT SHIMMER AND GLIMMER IN VEGAS ON HER 26TH BIRTHDAY THE OTHER NIGHT. COMPLETE WITH CUSTOM MADE BARBIE CAKE SHE PARTIED WITH ALL HER NEAREST AND DEAREST BUDDIES - CASSIE, AMBER AND WEEZY TO NAME BUT A FEW. THE YOUNG MONEY FEMCEE WORE A SWAROVSKI COVERED BODYSUIT THAT TOOK 5 SLAVES, SORRY 5 HELPFUL PEOPLE, OVER 200 HOURS TO MAKE AND FEATURED OVER 4000 CRYSTALS. I WONDER IF BRITNEY SPEARS USED THE SAME BITCHES TO MAKE HER BODYSUIT FOR THE 'TOXIC' VIDEO? HAPPY 26TH NICKI, WITH THAT BIRTHDAY SUIT WE ALMOST SAW 'RIGHT THRU YOU.'

Tuesday, 14 December 2010

HAT'S OFF TO HIM

MICHAEL BRINGS US MICHAEL, HIS FIRST RELEASE IN NINE YEARS. THE 10 TRACK ALBUM PRODUCED BY AN ESTEEMED GROUP OF PRODUCERS INCLUDES THE MELODIC DUET WITH AKON 'HOLD MY HAND' AND FEATURES NEW MATERIAL BY ONE OF MUSIC'S MOST MISSED AND BELOVED ICONS. THE CELEBRATORY COVER REALLY MAKES YOU REALISE JUST HOW MUCH HE DEVOTED HIMSELF TO MUSIC AND WELL AND TRULY DESERVED THAT CROWN.

I ADORE THIS STORE

TIGER SAY THEIR MISSION IS TO PROVIDE CUSTOMERS WITH STYLISH PRODUCTS, IN A PLEASANT ENVIRONMENT, AT ASTONISHINGLY LOW PRICES. ACCORDING TO THEM, THEY DON'T MESS AROUND WITH THEIR PRICES (TAKE IT FROM ME THE BARGAIN QUEEN, THEY REALLY DON'T MESS AROUND WITH THEIR PRICES) EVERYTHING IN THEIR STORES IS PRICED IN WHOLE POUNDS WITH NOTHING EXCEEDING 20 QUID. YOU HAVE 11 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS, SO WITH A FEW OF MY PERSONAL PICKS FOR GIFTS, DON'T SAY I DIDN'T HELP YOU.

P.S. IN CASE YOU'RE WONDERING, THOSE ARE JAPANESE GIRL MAGNETS AT THE END - GO GET THEM FOR YOUR FRIEND AND GET ME THAT BLINGY CALCULATOR AND THIS IS LONDON, GO GET THAT BROLLY FOR YOUR HEAD.

IT IS GREAT, JUST LOOK

CHECK OUT THESE RATHER VISUALLY DELICIOUS IMAGES OF SOME MY MOST DELECTABLE LADIES CREATED BY 'GREAT ECLECTIC'. SPECIALISING IN CREATIVE PHOTOGRAPHY, BRANDING AND DESIGN, THEY'RE RIGHT UP MY KOOKY STREET AND WOULD LOOK V.COOL ON A P.CASE - THAT'S PILLOW CASE BY THE WAY. KINDA REMINDED ME OF MY VERY FIRST BLOG POST WHERE I SNAPPED MY OWN RANDOM COLLAGE CREATIONS. PLUG, PLUG, PLUG.

Monday, 13 December 2010

WEEKEND ILLUSTRATED

...FRIDAY GINGERBREAD LATTE WHICH I SMUGLY TOOK INTO THE KENSINGTON CREPERIE, BEFORE GOING TO MOSQUE (NO PHOTO LOL), THEN OFF TO SHISHA WITH BESTIE, SATURDAY A DRUNKEN CLUB KISS, 5AM SNAP OF KHAKI COLOURED NAILS COURTESY OF TOPSHOP 'UTILITARIAN', SUNDAY ROAST DINNER BEFORE I SCOFFED IT AND ROUNDING THINGS OFF I FINALLY I DECORATED MY CHRISTMAS TREE WITH A JOLLY ASSORTMENT OF CANDY COLOURED CHARITY SHOP BOUGHT DECORATIONS.

Thursday, 9 December 2010

BACK

OK I'M SNAPPING OUTTA IT, DAMN BEING ILL, NOT ONLY DID IT MAKE ME MOPE, IT MADE ME NEGLECT MY BLOG A TAD TOO (NEVER A GOOD THING). I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN IN HIBERNATION FOR THE PAST WEEK. AFTER EMERGING FROM MY BURROW, FRESH THOUGHTS WERE BORN AND I GOT TO THINKING ABOUT MY NEW YEAR CALENDAR. I ALWAYS KEEP ONE ON MY PIN BOARD AND MARK BIRTHDAYS AND HOLIDAYS ON IT. LAST YEAR MY FRIEND MADE ME ONE WITH MEMORABLE PHOTOGRAPHS FOR EACH MONTH, ANOTHER TIME I HAD ENCHANTING DISNEY PRINCESSES AND FOR 2011 I'VE DECIDED TO SAY HELLO TO KITTY - JUST THINK OF THE 12 PRECIOUS ADVENTURES. OH, TALKING OF KITTY, HOW UTTERLY FAB IS THIS TREE, IT PUTS MY BARE BUSH TO SHAME.

Sunday, 5 December 2010

STILL ILL

SO 5 DAYS AND COUNTING - THIS FLU JUST WON'T SHAKE OFF. I'M SICK OF BEING SICK AND I'M BORED OF MY BED, BED, BED. (J. HOLIDAY PERKED ME UP A LITTLE THIS AFTERNOON). PAP'S MADE ME A WARMING WHISKY CONCOCTION LAST NIGHT WHICH KNOCKED ME OUT NICELY. I EVEN TRIED THAT HEAD OVER A BOWL OF VICKS VAPORUB TRICK TO TRY AND CLEAR THE CONGESTION. MY EYES AND ONE BLOCKED NOSTRIL KEEP SPORADICALLY WATERING AND THE DEEP CHESTY COUGH JUST SOUNDS DOWN RIGHT NASTY. FEEL FAR FROM SOUND FAR FROM AND LOOK FAR FROM, FABULOUS. MUCH LIKE THESE WITHERING CARNATIONS. AAA-CHOO. 

Thursday, 2 December 2010

BEFORE I CRAWL BACK INTO BED

ISRAELI DESIGNER KOBI LEVI WENT AND TOOK THE TERM 'SHOE FETISH' TO A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL WHEN HE MADE HIGH HEELS BASED ON BLOW-UP SEX DOLLS AND SHOES THAT LOOK LIKE DOGS, BANANAS AND SLING SHOTS. ERM, YOU CAN'T FAULT THE GUY FOR HAVING AN IMAGINATION AND CLEARLY A SENSE OF HUMOUR. HE SAYS: "THE PIECE IS A WEARABLE SCULPTURE. IT IS ALIVE WITH/OUT THE FOOT/BODY. MOST OF THE INSPIRATIONS ARE OUT OF THE 'SHOE WORLD' AND GIVE THE FOOTWEAR AN EXTREME TRANSFORMATION". FUTURE COLLABORATIONS THAT COME TO MIND COULD INCLUDE A 'JIMMY COOCHIE' AND A 'CHRISTIAN LOUBOTTOM'. HAH.

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

THE SNOW AIN'T STOPPED FALLING AND I'VE GONE AND GOT THE FLU. MY BODY HAS GONE INTO SHUT DOWN MODE AND I'M COUGHING ALL OVER MY KEYBOARD TO BRING THIS QUICK POST. CELEBRITIES HAVE BEEN REPPING MONCLER SINCE BEFORE CHRISTMAS LAST YEAR AND IT SEEMS THAT THEIR LOYALTY STILL REMAINS SOLID NOW. THIS LUXURY JACKET BRAND BECAME FAMOUS FOR KITTING OUT THE FRENCH OLYMPIC SKI TEAM IN 1968, NOW BASED IN ITALY, THE DESIGNER THOM BROWNE HAS TAKEN ITS ICONIC HERITAGE AND BROUGHT IT UP TO DATE TO CREATE A QUIRKY PREP-SCHOOL TAKE ON SKI-SLOPE CHIC. THIS DOES NOT MEAN MARIAH + NICK + DOG IN AN ALL OUT O.T.T. CUTESY MATCHING FLUFFY DIOR SNOW BOOT WEARING CHRISTMAS PARADE.

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