Thursday, 28 December 2017

BERRY GOOD

I'VE MENTIONED MY PENCHANT FOR SWEET EDIBLE SCENTED PRODUCTS MANY TIMES BEFORE. MY LATEST BEAUTY HAUL CONSISTS OF THE SUMMER BERRY VARIETY DIPPED IN DARK CHOCOLATE AND SPRINKLED WITH DELICATE ROSE PETALS. SMOTHER YOURSELF IN THESE SUGARY DELIGHTS COURTESY OF THE BODY SHOP, PALMER'S, SUPER FACIALIST AND YOUR LOCAL DRUGSTORE. DESSERT IS NOW SERVED.

Monday, 25 December 2017

MERRY TWERKMAS

WISHING ALL MY READERS A PHAT ASS CHRISTMAS.

Sunday, 24 December 2017

ROLE MODEL MUM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MAMA, SHE PAVES THE WAY AND CONSTANTLY TELLS ME TO MIND MY LANGUAGE.

ICE COLD BABY

CATCHING A CASE OF THE BLUES, KIM K GIVES US THE YEEZY SEASON 6 CHILLS DURING THE HOLIDAY SEASON. BRRR.

Sunday, 17 December 2017

MEET ME UNDER THE MISTLETOE

I CAME, I QUEUED AND I PURCHASED. POPPED DOWN TO HARVEY NICH'S LAST WEEKEND AND GOT MY FACE FENTIED UP. THE STUNNA LIP PAINT, AS SAID BY RIHANNA, IS EQUAL PARTS CLASS AND SASS AND GIVES YOU 12 HOUR NON-FEATHERING HOLD. I WORE IT OUT THAT SAME EVENING AGAINST A PRO FILT'R BASE AND IT'S TRUE, IT IS SMOOCH PROOF. 

PRETTY FLY FOR A WHITE GUY

OUR WORKPLACE HOSTED A WHITE PARTY FOR CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR. NOT EVERYONE TOOK TO THE THEME BUT I INSTANTLY THOUGHT OF THE FAMED P DIDDY SOIREE AND COULDN'T WAIT TO GET INVOLVED. I ZIPPED INTO MARIAH-ESQUE BODYCON, SLUNG MY DIOR OVER MY SHOULDER, POSED WITH A 'BAD BOY FOR LIFE' AND PRETENDED I WAS ON THE PUFFY HAMPTON'S GUESTLIST.

SET IT OFF TOUR

AS MUCH AS THIS CONCERT WAS FOCUSED ON BRYSON TILLER'S LATEST OFFERING I WENT IN THE HOPE THAT HE'D TRAP MY SOUL WITH SONGS FROM HIS UNBEATABLE DEBUT ALBUM. HE DID. A NO FRILLS SCREEN PROVIDED THE BACKDROP ON THE FIRST SUNDAY IN DECEMBER WHICH LIT UP IN TIME WITH EACH LIT TRACK. WE HAD SEATS BUT SWAYED ON OUR FEET SHOWING WHOLEHEARTED SUPPORT TO A MAN WHO'S MUSIC HAS REMAINED 'TRUE TO SELF'.

MARY RAMSDEN x PILAR CORRIAS GALLERY

"THESE DELIBERATE PAINT SPRAYS ARE PRETTY FUNNY AND COMICALLY SEXUAL, LESS OR MORE DEPENDING ON HOW THIN I MAKE THE PAINT. I ALSO FIND THAT SOMETIMES THE ALMOST GROSS USE OF COLOUR COMBINATIONS (THAT ON THEIR OWN ARE PASTEL AND GORGEOUS) CAN VERGE ON LURID AND SICKLY SWEET. SO IF THERE’S A HUMOUR IN GARISH COLOURS AND A ROOM FULL OF MISSHAPEN HEARTS THEN GREAT."

Sunday, 26 November 2017

NUTHIN' BUT A 𝐆 THANG

CULT NY BEAUTY BRAND GLOSSIER LAID ON A PRETTY PINK POP-UP IN LONDON LAST WEEK. I ENTERED THE ROSE SCENTED SPACE AND INSTANTLY DELVED FACE FIRST INTO THE ARRAY OF PRODUCTS I'D PREVIOUSLY ONLY EVER SEEN IN CYBER WORLD. I NOW FULLY UNDERSTAND THE HYPE BEHIND THEIR BESTSELLER BOY BROWN WHICH IMMACULATELY FRAMED BY BIG BROWNS, CLOSELY FOLLOWED BY THEIR GLASSY LIP GLOSS WHICH LEFT ME WITH A SEDUCTIVE SMACKER (BOTH WERE COPPED WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT). SKIN FIRST, MAKEUP SECOND, SMILE ALWAYS - IT'S A MANTRA WE SHOULD ALL SINCERELY SWEAR BY.

THIS AIN'T NO FAKE LOVE

I USED MY LUNCH BREAK LIKE A WISE OWL AND CHECKED OUT THE BUZZ ON OPENING DAY AT OVO LONDON LAST WEEK. I'VE VISITED THE TORONTO STORE SO IT'S A REAL TREAT FOR DRAKE TO BLESS US WITH OUR 'VERY OWN' LOCAL SPOT IN SOHO. THE ACTUAL QUEUE WAS SOME STREETS AWAY AND ONE WHICH I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO JOIN ON THIS OCCASION, WOES. BRB PAPI.   

CARDI B x NEW YORK MAGAZINE

"I HATE THAT PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO MAKE EXCUSES AS TO WHY ‘BODAK YELLOW’ WENT NO. 1. YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE EVERY TIME YOU HEAR IT, YOUR PUSSY POPS. YOUR DICK, IT GET UP. STOP TRYING TO DISCREDIT IT."

Sunday, 12 November 2017

AND BREATH

STEVE JOBS ONCE SAID, 'SOMETIMES LIFE HITS YOU IN THE HEAD WITH A BRICK. DON'T LOSE FAITH'. JUGGLING A FEW UNCERTAINTIES, THIS RINGS TRUE FOR ME RIGHT NOW. WE WILL PREVAIL.

SMOKE SOME DRINK SOME

GENERAL THEME OF MY WEEKEND CONSISTED OF CARRIE ANTICS BELOW OH AND A LARGE HELPING OF FRIDAY NIGHT FISH N CHIPS, EXTRA VINEGAR.

NASTY GALS DO IT BETTER

THE SOPHIA AMORUSO EMPIRE HAS FINALLY LANDED IN LONDON AND SO I VISITED THE NASTY GAL POP UP STORE LAST WEEK. TYPICAL ME FELL FOR THE FETISH ANKLE BOOTIES FOLLOWED BY A 'GIRL BOSS' POSE IN THEIR MAKESHIFT CARPETED STUDIO. I WAS SNUG AS A BUG IN A RETAIL HAVEN RUG.

Sunday, 5 November 2017

HIP HOP HONORS

QUEEN BEY GOT IT ABSOLUTELY SPOT ON AS 'THE ORIGINAL QUEEN BEE' IN HER RECENT INSTAGRAM HOMAGE. SLAYING DOUBLE C'S IN HER HAIR, DOUBLE D'S ON HER CHEST AND A DOUBLE THUMBS UP FROM ME.

JENNIFER LOPEZ x VANITY FAIR

"YOU HAVE TO IMAGINE YOUR LIFE, AND WHAT YOU WANT TO BE IN IT, AND I IMAGINED WE WOULD BE VERY HAPPY HERE NO MATTER WHAT."

Tuesday, 31 October 2017

DIRTY DISNEY

ORIGINALLY I WAS GOING TO WEAR A SKELETON BODYSUIT TO MY HALLOWEEN PARTY THIS YEAR BUT AFTER STUMBLING ACROSS A BARELY THERE POCAHONTAS/NATIVE AMERICAN COSTUME IN MY LOCAL TRAID CHARITY SHOP I WAS INSTANTLY SWAYED. A FEW QUID SPENT AND A HANDMADE NECKLACE LATER I WAS TRANSFORMED INTO POCA-FUN-TAS AND LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

RIHANNA x VOGUE ARABIA

"WE ARE DEDICATING THE ISSUE TO STRONG AND DYNAMIC WOMEN WHO ARE CHANGING THE WORLD, RIHANNA, OUR COVER STAR, IS ONE OF THEM. NOT ONLY IS SHE ONE OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL POP ICONS EVER, SHAPING THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY WITH HER POWERFUL TUNES AND UNIQUE SENSE OF STYLE, SHE IS ALSO AN ADVOCATE FOR DIVERSITY."

Sunday, 29 October 2017

FINE DINING

I CELEBRATED MY GIRL'S BIRTHDAY AT THE OPULENT ESSEX RESTAURANT SHEESH LAST WEEK. ALBEIT SURROUNDED BY CUTESY COUPLES, WE SOAKED UP THE HYPNOTIC LIVE JAZZ AND IMMERSED OURSELVES IN A TRULY ENCHANTING EVENING THAT OVERFLOWED WITH BELLINI'S AND BANTER.

KIM KARDASHIAN x VOGUE MEXICO

"I AM EMPOWERED BY MY BODY. I AM EMPOWERED BY MY SEXUALITY. I AM EMPOWERED BY FEELING COMFORTABLE IN MY SKIN. I AM EMPOWERED BY SHOWING THE WORLD MY FLAWS AND NOT BEING AFRAID OF WHAT ANYONE IS GOING TO SAY ABOUT ME."

Sunday, 15 October 2017

SELFRIDGES x AWGE

"THE BODEGA IS SIGNIFICANT BECAUSE MINORITIES OWNED IT - HISPANICS, ARABS, AND KOREANS. OUTSIDE OF NEW YORK CITY, YOU DON’T EXPERIENCE THE WHOLE TRADITIONAL BODEGA FEEL. YOU DON’T SEE CATS LYING ON THE BREAD, OR ASLEEP ON THE RICE. ULTIMATELY, IT’S ABOUT INCLUSION. DIFFERENT ETHNIC MINORITIES COMING TOGETHER AND LIVING TOGETHER COHESIVELY - AND THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR DECADES. THAT’S WHY I’M BRINGING THIS FUSION OF DIFFERENT CULTURES, MANIFESTED IN ONE AWGE BODEGA. IT IS GHETTO, BUT NOT TRASHY, WHICH IS VERY TRUE FOR NEW YORK CITY."

MONEY BAGS

ENTIRELY DRIPPING IN SWAROVSKI CRYSTALS, THE ALEXANDER WANG x JUDITH LEIBER DOLLAR DOLLAR BILL BAG GOT BITCHES OUT HERE LOOKING LIKE A BAG OF MONEY. DON'T ASK THEM FOR SPARE CHANGE.

Sunday, 8 October 2017

IMAAN HAMMAM x SELF SERVICE MAGAZINE

"I FEEL MOST SEXY WHEN I WAKE UP. MY HAIR IS MESSY AND GOING EVERY DIRECTION HAHA."

BOOM FOR REAL

YESTERDAY I VISITED LONDON'S FIRST LARGE SCALE EXHIBIT OF JEAN-MICHEL BASQUIAT. THIS WAS A BIG DEAL. BRINGING TOGETHER OVER 100 WORKS OF THIS TALENTED YOUNG HIP ARTIST, PHOTOGRAPHY WASN'T ALLOWED BUT WE SIMPLY COULDN'T RESIST SNEAKING A FEW SHOTS AMONG THE BRAVE BRUSHSTROKES. WE WERE TRANSPORTED TO THE DOWNTOWN NEW YORK ART SCENE AND BASKED IN BASQUIAT'S GLORY.

Sunday, 1 October 2017

A$AP ROCKY x ES MAGAZINE

"THEY’VE BEEN MISSING ME, THEY’VE BEEN WAITING FOR ME, THEY NEED SOME NEW MUSIC, THEY NEED SOME NEW SOUNDS, NEW WAVES, NEW SWAG, NEW EVERYTHING. AND WHO’S THE MAN YOU GO TO FOR THAT? YOURS TRULY. SO I’M BACK, LIKE I NEVER LEFT."

STARFUCKS

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL COFFEE DAY. I LIKE MY CUP STEAMY. 

LICENSE AND REGISTRATION PLEASE

SINCE I FLEW THE NEST I HAVEN'T DRIVEN AND I MISS IT SOMETIMES. TO COMPENSATE, I POSE IN FRONT OF COOL ASS CAMO CARS. I CAN ONLY IMAGINE HOW SAUDI WOMEN MUST FEEL HAVING NEVER BEEN ALLOWED TO DRIVE FULL STOP. THAT IS UNTIL NOW - THE GOVERNMENT RIGHTLY ENDED THE REIGN ON TUESDAY, AS THE ONLY NATION ON THE GLOBE WHERE FEMALES WERE FORBIDDEN FROM JUMPING BEHIND THE WHEEL OF A WHIP. START STOPPING TRAFFIC LADIES.

A TRIBUTE TO GIANNI

THIS IS A CELEBRATION OF A GENIUS. THIS IS A CELEBRATION OF AN ICON. THIS IS A CELEBRATION OF MY BROTHER. THOSE WERE THE OPENING LINES OF THE SS18 VERSACE SHOW IN MILAN. THE CLOSING SAW DONATELLA STRUT ARM IN ARM WITH GIANNI'S CREME DE LA CREME OF SUPERMODEL MUSES. ALL CLAD IN LIQUID GOLD, CELEBRATING A GOLDEN OLDIE COLLECTION.

Thursday, 28 September 2017

RIP HEF

"LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE LIVING SOMEBODY ELSE'S DREAM. THE MAJOR CIVILIZING FORCE IN THE WORLD IS NOT RELIGION, IT IS SEX. IN MY WILDEST DREAMS, I COULD NOT HAVE IMAGINED A SWEETER LIFE."

ALICIA KEYS x ELLE BRAZIL

"IT CAN SEEM SILLY, BUT I THINK THAT MANY OF US ARE CAUGHT IN THIS TRAP. WE WORRY ABOUT WHAT THE OTHERS ARE THINKING ABOUT US, AND WE FORGET TO THINK BY OURSELVES. ACTUALLY, THIS IS NOT ONLY ABOUT USING MAKEUP OR NOT. IT IS MORE ABOUT LIVING, BEING AS YOU FEEL REALLY COMFORTABLE AND EXPLORING ALL OF IT."

Monday, 25 September 2017

WORDS OF WISDOM

SO I'VE BEEN COMPLETELY OUT OF ACTION THIS PAST WEEK AFTER WISDOM TEETH EXTRACTIONS. I NEVER ANTICIPATED THE EXCRUCIATING PAIN THAT WOULD FOLLOW A PRETTY ROUTINE PROCEDURE, HOWEVER ONE OF MY TEETH WAS PARTICULARLY AWKWARD. GROWING SIDEWAYS, IT REQUIRED SOME FLESH DISSECTING/BONE REMOVING/GUM STITCHING. I THEN WENT ON TO DEVELOP 'DRY SOCKET' FOLLOWED CLOSELY BY AN INFECTION. IT'S BEEN FACE INFLATING JAW DROPPING STUFF.

BLAZER GANG

I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO JOIN A FRIEND FOR LONDON FASHION WEEK THIS YEAR. WE SKIPPED AROUND LONDON SIPPING PLENTY BUBBLES, ATTENDED A FEW PRESENTATIONS AND SAT FROW AT THE SHOWS. TAKING INSPO FROM RECENT LOOKS OF RIHANNA, ADRIANA LIMA, KELLY ROWLAND AND HAILEY BALDWIN -I CHOSE TO GO WITH A SEXY RELAXED LOOK. TEAMING A HERITAGE CHECK TOPSHOP BLAZER WITH 90s LEVIS JEANS AND THE ALL IMPORTANT 'DESIGNER' INJECTIONS OF A CLASSIC NYLON PRADA BAG AND A HINT OF SOME CALVIN KLEIN CLEAVAGE. 

SHOE IT FOR THE GRAM

I INSTANTLY DROOLED OVER THESE SPORTY CHIC ANKLE STRAP LOGO HEELS FROM VERSACE. DOUBLE TAP, I'D NEVER FORGET TO USE THESE RUBBERS.

Sunday, 10 September 2017

FENTY BEAUTY

"MAKE-UP IS THERE FOR YOU TO HAVE FUN WITH; IT SHOULD NEVER FEEL LIKE PRESSURE. IT SHOULD NEVER FEEL LIKE A UNIFORM. FEEL FREE TO TAKE CHANCES, AND TAKE RISKS, AND DARE TO DO SOMETHING NEW OR DIFFERENT."

Sunday, 3 September 2017

CARNI 17

THE SURPRISINGLY DECENT BRITISH WEATHER SWAYED ME TO PASS THROUGH NOTTING HILL CARNIVAL THIS YEAR. I WORE AN ADAM SELMAN INSPIRED SHEER FLORAL BLOUSE WITH MANDATORY DENIM PUM PUM SHORTS. IT WAS A FLOWERY, FEATHERY, FAT ASS FUN TIME.

KIM KARDASHIAN WEST x HARPER'S BAZAAR

"MORE POWER TO THE MOMS THAT LOOK REALLY GOOD, WORK REALLY HARD, DO WHAT THEY CAN SO THAT THEY STILL FEEL SEXY, STILL FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES. I DON’T THINK FOR A SECOND THAT BECAUSE YOU BECOME A MOM YOU CAN’T BE SEXY ANY MORE."

SK AIR

YESTERDAY SAW THE LAUNCH OF A MOROCCAN INSPIRED NIKE AIR MAX 97 BROUGHT TO US BY GRIME ARTIST SKEPTA. WITH A GLIMMERING IRIDESCENT UPPER, BOY BETTER KNOW - THESE ARE SPICY LIKE THE SOUK.

SHE'S BAD

WE REMEMBERED THE BIRTH AND THE DEATH OF TWO SIGNIFICANT FIGURES IN HISTORY EARLIER THIS WEEK. HERE'S TO TWO OF THE BADDEST - MJ & HIS DIRTY DIANA.

TEYANA TAYLOR x GQ

"ISSA COVER GIRL. YOU COULD LOOK AT IT! AS LONG AS U DON'T GRAB ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!"

Sunday, 20 August 2017

POETIC PUNANI

I'M ASHAMED TO SAY I'VE NEVER WATCHED POETIC JUSTICE PROPERLY FROM START TO FINISH, THAT WAS UNTIL YESTERDAY. MY FAVOURITE PART HAD TO BE PHENOMENAL WOMAN JANET JACKSON, AKA JUSTICE, EXCHANGING SOME STRAIGHTS UPS WITH TUPAC. IT WAS FRAGRANT.  

I WEAR THE TROUSERS

FINALLY WORE MY SHEER PLEATED ZARA TROUSERS LAST NIGHT. IT WAS ONE OF THE ITEMS THAT WAS HANGING IN MY WARDROBE FOR AGES, TAGS ON AND JUST LUSTING FOR THE RIGHT OCCASION - IN THIS CASE MY COUSIN'S BIRTHDAY DINNER. I PAIRED THEM WITH A SIMPLE BANDEAU AND MY MOSCHINO CAMO CHAIN BAG. HIP HIP HOORAY.

STUNTIN LIKE MY ZADDY

FRESH OFF THE SUCCESS OF BODAK YELLOW AND STILL CLIMBING, CARDI B TREATS HERSELF TO A FRESHLY SQUEEZED ORANGE BENTLEY. STRAIGHT UP CASH PAYMENT, SHE DON'T DANCE NOW SHE MAKE MONEY MOVES.

Friday, 18 August 2017

RIP BRUCE FORSYTH

IT WAS NICE TO WATCH YOU, TO WATCH YOU, NICE.

Tuesday, 8 August 2017

I KNOW YOU WANNA SEE ME NAKED

RIHANNA WAS A BEAUTIFUL BAJAN BIRD OF PARADISE AT THIS YEARS CROP OVER AND CHRIS BROWN WANTS TO DO IT OVER *EYES EMOJI*

TASTE FILM

ON SATURDAY EVENING I PUT ON MY GOOD JEANS, GRABBED MY LV AND UBERED MY ASS TO A SEX & THE CITY MOVIE SCREENING. IT WAS SERVED UP WITH A 5* FOUR COURSE MEAL AND CARRIE WORTHY COCKTAILS COURTESY OF TASTE FILM. IF YOU KNOW ME, YOU KNOW I'M VERY OBSESSED WITH THE GIRLS SO THIS TICKED ALL MY BOXES. THE MENU WAS CLEVERLY CATERED TO SCENES IN THE FILM WHERE DISHES AND DRINKS ARRIVED ON CUE. AS SAMANTHA WOULD SAY, IT WAS 'FABULOUS'. 

Sunday, 6 August 2017

MI SOON COME

DONNING THE T-SHIRT FOR JAMAICAN INDEPENDENCE DAY. STILL VERY HIGH ON MY WISH LIST OF PLACES TO STAMP IN MY PASSPORT.

Sunday, 30 July 2017

OLD SCHOOL SUNDAYS

THEY SAY 'IF THE LOVE DOESN'T FEEL LIKE 90s R&B I DON'T WANT IT'. I TUNE INTO DJ TREVOR NELSON ON BBC 1XTRA EVERY SUNDAY WHERE HE BRINGS THIS STATEMENT TO LIFE. HIS PLAYLIST NEVER FAILS TO STIR ME UP.

LOYALTY

I SAID I'M GEEKED AND I'M FIRED UP. ALL I WANT TONIGHT IS JUST TO GET HIGH UP. GIRL YOU LOOK SO GOOD IT'S TO DIE FOR. OOH THAT PUSSY GOOD IT'S TO DIE FOR.

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